I’m sure it has a lot to do with the sudden release from an unnecessarily arduous two year episode, but I find myself in a wistful mood. Every book I read seems to spark an urge in me to do something. Blood Knots – go fishing, The Garden in the Clouds – build a garden somewhere remote, Woodswoman – go and live in a log cabin in the wilderness.

(Note to self – do not read anything by Jordan whilst in this frame of mind).

The thing they all have in common, other than the fact that I chose them, is that they all tie in with nature – which may well be why I chose them, and I’m sure that’s why they are having the impact that they are. It feels like I’ve been in prison. Instead of being outside doing things, or even just being outside, I’ve either being writing notes, or preparing for them, or and mostly just worrying about the whole mess.

I need to reconnect with the real world, by which I mean the natural world. In the past this has meant the need to garden and would be a simple case of rolling my sleeves up and “getting amongst it”, but I’m struggling. Even thought it’s the first week of August it feels like the season is over. I put this down to all the heat in June.

As a result I seem adrift and, flitting from one idea to another, unable to find any kind of direction.

It is a very odd sensation.

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