Well the last week and half hasn’t been too good.

At first I felt a bit under the weather, this was followed by two days of headaches, sniffles and sore throats. “Not the dreaded swine flu”I hoped. The third day I was much better and much relieved. Alas in vain, because the day afterwards the lurgy returned with a vengeance.

And Lo! The Lurgy Was Called Swine Flu And It Wasn’t Much Fun.

That said, it wasn’t the worse dose of flu I’ve ever had and I’d have considered that I’d gotten off light if it wasn’t for the cough.

If you can imagine a demented werewolf, sitting at the bottom of well-shaft, trying to hack up the most enormous fur-ball, that will give you some idea of the volume and ferocity of the damn thing. As the flu receded, the cough intensified.

“You’ve got a chest infection,” said the other half, helpfully.

“I’ve got a headache,” I groaned.

“That’s because your brain is smashing against the front of your skull every time you cough,” replied the other half, cheerfully.

Sure enough, it was a chest infection and is now, with the help of antibiotics, receding, as I return to the world of the living.

Sometimes being ill is not entirely unpleasant – snuggling in bed reading, whilst eating comfort food and all that, but this bout was completely grim – I wasn’t even with it enough to read.

Added to which, every time  I opened the window to get some fresh air I was assailed by the noise of powertools. Some neighbours have a pair of cowboys in, attempting the world record for the longest time taken to lay a block-paved drive – four weeks so far, which roughly equates to a week per yard. I understand they advertise in the Yellow Pages under the trade name Mucking Fuppets.

Oh yea, and for a special laugh, I pulled a muscle in my stomach so that everytime I coughed it was like being stabbed in the belly too.

Little Boots was about two days behind me with the symptoms, but after sniffling for a day and a half, going very pale for 20 minutes and coughing three times, returned to full health. I was very relieved and somewhat jealous.

That aside, there was one other piece of good news. I passed my RHS3 exam. Not only that, I was just shy of a commendation, which was a slight shock as I was simply hoping to pass. Although I attend a local college for this course, about halfway through the first year I looked at the past papers and realised that the level of tutorage we were receiving was not going to get anyone through the exam. So I binned the scrappy notes I had made, started writing my own from scratch and pretty much stopped going to class.

So the way I see it, passing the exam was major achievement and all my own work. I just hope some of my classmates passed.